The problem is most have no idea how to teach it.
“Adults will use the ‘well because mental toughness’ remark, defending the prescription of an activity (that doesn’t actually develop mental toughness).
All while they themselves don’t have the mental to sit down and study how to actually develop mental toughness.”
-Ray Zingler on Twitter
Toughness is important.
Tough people are generally more valuable to society.
If you don’t believe me ask yourself, if shit were to hit the fan are you calling a tough individual or a fragile one?
Toughness is a teachable quality, but the sad reality is that most adults have no idea how to teach toughness.
While incrementally increasing toughness isn’t rocket science, it’s a bit more complex than a 3-day navy seal crash course at the local high school with kids who don’t know if Cheetos are protein or not.
And on the other side of the coin, we have a cult of pseudo-tough individuals in a town near you who think building up muscles, covering themselves up with tattoos and buying a 9mm at their local gun store make them “badass”.
So how do we go about enhancing our toughness, the right way?
While it’d be impossible to cover the depths of the subject in a simple post like this, I will refer to a book I recently read on the subject, “Do Hard Things” by Steve Magness.
No this book isn’t what you think it’d be about. It isn’t some fake, macho bullshit. It’s about how and why we get resilience wrong and the surprising science of Real Toughness.
Steve outlines 4 pillars of toughness:
Ditch the façade, embrace reality.
Listen to your body.
Respond, instead of react.
Transcend discomfort.
While I would most certainly encourage you to read the book in it’s entirety, the research is clear that the Bear Bryant Junction Boy’s and the forced intense work out methods, undoubtedly don’t develop toughness. They detract from it.
Toughness is enhanced through becoming honest with yourself and becoming comfortable in your own skin.
From there you must listen to your body, acknowledge feelings, don’t hide from them.
Then when faced with a trial (whether self-induced or out of your control) create distance from the issue so that you can respond to the adversity, not immaturely react. Typically speaking, quick reactions are low in value.
Lastly, transcend the discomfort. Find meaning in it. Purpose is the fuel that allows you to be tough.
Like a muscle, the more you train the mind, the tougher it will become.
