If you lack self-awareness and try to strong arm kids, you’re shot at lasting positive impact on them is 0.
“The Two Greatest Coaching Errors:
Lack of Self-Awareness
Thinking you can Strong Arm kids.
If you don’t have a pulse on how you project yourself and make other feel & you think you can bulldog your way through your kids, you’re dead in the water and don’t even know it.”
-Ray Zingler on Twitter
I use the term Coaches, but I believe these two truths apply to just about anyone in a Leadership position.
If you lack the most fundamental quality required for being effective and think that people are going to respond favorably to a dictator style of leadership, you’re going to put yourself in your own way (and stay there) before you even start.
Sure, you might get short-term fear driven compliance because the athletes you’re working with often have no other choice than to deal with you if they want to be a part of a specific sports team/group at their school, but just because you can get away with being an as*hole doesn’t mean it’s an effective strategy.
Self-Awareness of how you project yourself and how you make others feel is absolutely critical to long term buy-in, culture quality, and sustained success.
As a coach you must understand that your position on the team is SECONDARY despite being the “lead figure”.
If you don’t think so, remove the requisite number of players required to compete in competition from your team and tell me how important your role is, Coach.
You don’t have to like it, but it’s true. For this reason it is essential that you meet the ever evolving needs of the, let me remind you, YOUTH athletes.
I’m not implying that you can’t have high expectations and coach your kids hard, you absolutely can (and should), but they have to know where the “tough” coaching is coming from.
Have you projected yourself as the fear-based leader?
Or have you, with great conscious, consistent effort projected yourself as the leader who deeply loves them through repetition of affirmation, encouragement, and outwardly expressed love and care? Do they know you believe in them? Are you positive?
If you can’t vehemently give an astounding hell yes to the second notion, you’re probably much closer to the first one than you think, especially if you lack self-awareness (see why it’s so important.)
As a coach, you have to know where you stand and how you make others feel, you have to pay attention to how you project yourself onto others.
You can think what you’re doing is fine and acceptable, but remember Coaches don’t win games and enhance culture.
Players do.
