Failing to understand this is the main contributor to post-sporting career identity crisis.
“Just a reminder:
Your child’s identity is not defined by a sport they play.
Jimmy is not a baseball player.
Jimmy is a highly valued human being who happens to play baseball.
Language matters.
Make sure they know they are than the game.
Their identities depend on it.”
-Ray Zingler on Twitter
You’d be hard pressed to find a bigger lover of sports than myself.
Especially this time of year, you’ll very likely see me in basketball arenas, on wrestling mats, and at baseball, lacrosse, and soccer fields, too.
Getting to see my kids play their sports is one of my life’s greatest joys.
But as much as I love to see our kids play their sports and work to improve themselves within them on and off the field, I must remind you that the kids are NOT their sports, they are kids who happen to play (and hopefully enjoy) said sport(s).
Over the years I have seen a lot of good come out of sports and unfortunately some not so good things.
One of the biggest issues I see kids struggle with is identity related.
This is because kids spend so much time in sport, year-round, multiple teams, lessons, practices, games, showcases, & tournaments. It’s year-round non-stop.
Oh yeah, and what I’ve outlined thus far are only the physical elements of the game.
I haven’t even touched on the mental side of the pressure to perform, constant comparing of themselves to others in person and on the internet, and the desire to not let their parents down who are funding all of this.
You combine year-round, single activity, high pressure environments and ask cognitively immature adolescents to walk through them, all while trying their damndest to please everyone around them, while simultaneously making efforts to ignore the overwhelming amounts of toxicity thrown at them, and yeah, we’ve got a recipe for identity disaster.
We mustn’t’ forget. He’s not a baseball player and she’s not a lacrosse player. He’s Michael and he plays baseball and she’s Sarah and she plays lacrosse.
These are GAMES that are supposed to add value to their lives for a short period of time, not detract from it.
Too many times I have seen athletes at all levels come to the end of their sporting careers and be so lost that it’s not even funny. And you think it’s not a big deal until you have to walk through the anxiety, depression, and lost sense of purpose.
Remember, sports aren’t who they are, they are something that they do.
Language Matters.
