You give kids those 3 things, you change the trajectory of their life.
“Look kids in the eyes, tell them you believe in them, you care about them, & that you’re proud of them.
Run the risk of being ‘uncool’ & ‘awkward’ in the interaction.
Why?
Because when the interaction is ovrer, it’s not uncool or awkward.
It’s life changing for them.”
-Ray Zingler on X
That’s all they want.
The hardest of stubborn teenage boys, and the softest of overly dramatic girls and everywhere in between.
Validation.
Most are fortunate to get it from a parent, many get it from two, but it’s different when it comes from somebody who isn’t a parent.
An outside source who has no obligation to pledge their belief in them.
It makes it real for them.
“Holy shit, maybe I can do this?”
But here’s the problem, many coaches, teachers, and leaders, are afraid to use strong, uplifting, real words, directly to kid’s faces.
They assume that their “belief” (how many grown folks truly love and believe in kids that aren’t their own anymore?) in them is assumed.
They’re afraid of being corny, awkward, or uncool, by tangibly telling them they believe in them, that they care about them, and that they’re proud of them.
Admittedly, when you do this, you’re often met with blank stares or giggles, but the one thing you do have during these interactions is their attention.
And after the (call it awkward if you want to) encounter, do you know what happens? They immediately get a boost in confidence.
And then do you know what happens the next time they see you?
They remember what you said to them.
They know you believe in them, love them, and are proud of them.
And then? Then they’ll start running through walls for you.
You gain access to be able to mentor them in a way that has the potential to get the most out of them.
Do you know how many coaches claim they want to “get the most out of athletes” but have no idea what constitutes earning the mere privilege of getting a chance to do that?
Many.
Most are focused on attempting to be Billy Badass as they brand their coaching style, “tough coaching”, but kids, especially today, see through the bullshit façade.
Kid’s today want validation. Hell, they NEED validation.
It’s ashame that many have to “swallow their pride” to give it to them, but they do.
Go tell them you deeply believe in them, that you love them, and that you’re damn proud of WHO they are (not what they do).
Watch what happens.
