But the reason people chase happiness is because it’s easier & cheaper.
“Happiness is a temporary state that average people seek from the world.
This is why those with the most blessings, stuff, & vacations ‘never have enough’.
Fulfillment is what they’re actually seeking, but fulfillment requires a lifelong commitment to the service of others.”
-Ray Zingler on X
I’m not the most qualified person on earth to speak on the subject.
I am a regular dude, who like most people I would argue, enjoy the feelings associated with happiness.
Why do people eat delicious foods?
Why do they go on extravagant vacations?
Why do they (start) drinking alcohol?
Why do they (start) using drugs?
It’s because those things feel good.
They make them happy.
And as creatures who have evolved to prefer pleasure over pain, we are naturally going to gravitate towards behaviors that give us pleasure.
The blessing (and curse) of living in the modern world is that we have access to so many things 24 hours a day that can scratch our pleasure itch.
Slow day and you need a rush of dopamine? It’s why men are addicted to pornography.
Feeling down about yourself and a quick pick me up? Take a revealing picture of yourself in those new yoga pants and post it on Instagram and watch the “likes” flood in (initially).
But like all temporary states, happiness is fleeting.
Life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies all the time. It’s the people who try to manufacture that lifestyle who are the most miserable.
You can try to stuff as much of it in the jar as you can, but you’ll never find a lid that fits it to hold it all in.
This is why instead of seeking happiness, I believe it to be critical to seek fulfillment. At least that’s what I am doing in my own life.
The cool thing about seeking fulfillment over happiness is that you don’t even have to forgo the concept of happiness, you can still have it (and not have it) just like everybody else.
But when your heart is set on acquiring fulfillment, the far more lasting construct, you have the self-awareness to understand that happiness comes and goes. And when it does flee, you understand that is simply part of life.
And you don’t have to chase happiness, you can just “be”. Seriously, you can.
But where does this fulfillment thing come from? What’s the “main attraction”?
I’ve looked a lot of places, but the only place I’ve found it resides in a life fully dedicated to the unselfish service of others.
Selflessness = Fulfillment.
