It takes tremendous effort and real time to earn it, too.
“Every coach desires to be respected by their athletes, but have you earned it?
Do your kids know for certain that you deeply care about them?
Have you taken the time to develop & foster healthy relationships built on trust?
Respect requires much more than a title and whistle.”
-Ray Zingler on Twitter
I want to preface this message with the notion that obviously there should be a fundamental level of respect for everyone from the get-go.
Especially from a student to an elder.
I’m not implying kids have the right to be disrespectful from the start.
I’m simply coming from the perspective of earning high levels of respect that gives coaches a chance to make real impact on kids, not the superficial (though important) levels that are common knowledge for all on an elevator.
Every coach wants that high level of respect. The undivided attention. The feeling that his or her players are locked in and are ready to absorb every word they say as gospel, right?
But you don’t get to demand that respect. Not even Saban or Belichick can demand it in the modern world anymore.
You think you can just tough guy/bulldog high school kids in an unregulated transfer jungle, with club sports at every turn? No chance in hell. They’ll walk. Even at the club level people can jump to a new team, yesterday.
Respect must earned. And this earning of respect is no easy task either. You can’t just pass out a handbook, tell folks these are your expectations at a potluck dinner, and then post intermittently on social media #culture #discipline.
In order to earn this high level of respect, it is essential that your kids know, without any shadow of a doubt that you care about them and their well-being.
Just as you want them to run through a wall for you, your athletes must know that you would go to bat for all of them at the drop of a hat.
Your athletes must trust you. Not like sorta trust you, but fully trust you because you have taken the time to prove your trustworthiness. Your actions have repeatedly affirmed this (or not).
Once your kids know you deeply care about them and trust you, the real work begins.
The fostering and evolvement of healthy relationships.
Are you showing interest in them as people? Their lives beyond sport?
Are you empathetic?
Do you understand how to best reach this individual based on their own unique personality?
Then and only then do you deserve that type of respect you see in the sports movies.
