If you want to help kid’s thrive, create an environment where they feel safe, desired, and loved.
“All most kids really want is to be in an environment where they feel safe & wanted.
They want to know for sure their leaders deeply care about them.
You give them that and they will run through a wall for you.
Safe. Wanted. Cared for.
So easy, but adult egos make it hard.”
-Ray Zingler on Twitter
Next to Follower of Jesus, Husband, and Dad, Mentor is the adjective I take pride in describing me the most.
Sure, I am a Strength Coach, but admittedly ‘Strength Coach’ is just the vehicle I am blessed to be able to use to do what I really want to do: positively impact young people.
In the last 2+ decades of my life, I have played a lot of sport, I’ve been around a lot of successful and unsuccessful coaches, I’ve relentlessly studied a plethora of coaches and I’ve become coach myself. I’ve worked with over 2,000 athletes in a variety of environments from 1:1 private, to small group, large group, team setting, athlete, non-athlete, beginners, advanced, and special needs, too.
As a Coach, if you asked me to define singularly, my most important objective, I would simply say this:
“Enhance Overall Athlete Experience.”
That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
It is my job to create an opportunity for athletes to maximize their time and help them to not only thrive in their sports, but to help them thrive in life.
So how do I do this?
Again, I’m not a psychologist, I don’t have the perfect or best answer, but I’ll tell you what’s worked for me.
Nothing has been more important than creating an environment where athletes first and foremost feel safe and comfortable. Some would argue that sounds soft, but those are people unknowingly putting kids in environments where they feel unsafe and uncomfortable and try to camouflage the toxicity with the term “mental toughness”.
Next to safety comes making them feel wanted. It’s amazing how quickly you can break any ice by simply showing a kid that you truly want them. Humans are hardwired to not only crave, but NEED a sense of belonging. Give them that.
Finally, it’s the give a shit factor. You’ve made them feel safe. You’ve shown them that they are wanted. Now, just show them that you truly give a shit about them. Affirm it, too. With consistent words and actions. Leave no room for error when it comes to them wondering if you truly love them.
Safe. Wanted. Cared for. That’s it.
You give them that and they’ll run through a wall for you.
