Do you react or do you respond? A cool head wins a hot game.
“One of the most overlooked aspects of coaching: Emotional Response.
How are you acting in high pressure situations?
When an athlete comes to you in turmoil, do you have the right words? Do you project yourself compassionately?
They are paying attention and they always remember.”
-Ray Zingler on Twitter
We are not defined by how we act in comfortable situations and controllable environments, but how we act in adverse environments when shit hits the fan.
Can you quickly assess the adverse situation and overcome your natural desire to react emotionally and make the decision to respond favorably, despite the acute discomfort?
Or do your emotions get the best of you and lead you to fly off the rails?
Our character is defined by how we answer the question.
I’ll be the first to admit that many atime I have reacted unfavorably and my emotions have gotten the best of me.
I’d venture to say this has likely happened to you too.
Unfavorable reactions, while unacceptable aren’t character death sentences, provided we become self-aware of our inclination to act/react in certain ways.
By becoming self-aware of our typical reactions, we gain the ability to convert what’s typical to atypical. Essentially, speaking in French, we give ourselves a higher chance of being less of an asshole, and more of a composed leader.
We mustn’t forget, as important as coaches are, the student athletes are still the main characters of the story. Without them, the coach doesn’t exist and there is no “story”.
For this reason, it’s essential that we as coaches focus not on our role or title, but on best serving the “main characters”.
As a lover of sports, the son of coaches, and a coach myself, I am constantly paying attention to how coaches act and react in times of adversity.
You’ll notice that those who respond favorably and those who react emotionally often have the same goals (high expectations, win games, develop young people, etc.) but typically only one of the two parties is accomplishing the objective, consistently.
Never forget the kids are always paying attention to how you act and they remember, too. You consistently act like an idiot that’s what they’ll think of you as. You keep it together when times are tough, they’ll run through a wall for you.
A quote my father drilled into my head from a very young age is “a cool head wins a hot game.” I have applied his wisdom to many areas of my life, but especially when I am working with youth athletes.
